3 things writers are doing while you are reading (or failing to read) their script

97330-93928

We’ve all done it. We’ve all met writers at parties or conferences or an event and said “Send me something, I’d love to read your work”. 80% of the time the writer will do it (and the 20% who don’t I’ll talk about later) and it lands in your mailbox and you think – “oh great I’ll read that this weekend”.

Three months later you’re on the loo, or making a cuppa or walking to the station and you think: “Shit! I haven’t read X’s piece yet – must do that”. Then at this point you either forget about it again or consign it to the pile of things I must do that I feel bad about and never get round to.

If you recognise this scenario, now is the moment to resolve not to ask to read people’s stuff again. You’re not a bad person (I’m including myself in all this to be clear – I’ve done it) but if you don’t have time don’t ask, because it can really mess with a writer’s head (I’m talking for all writers here – I know that’s ridiculous so actually scrub that I’m talking about myself).  Here’s three things writers (me) might be doing while you are sitting on their script.

  1. Sending test emails to their best mate to ensure their email is working
  2. Looking at your twitter/facebook/instagram account to see if you are in the country/still alive/ sending subliminal messages about how much you hate their script
  3. Feeling 100% sure that you have read it and hated it so much you can’t bring yourself to send any kind of message about it.

Pathetic perhaps but very true. We are delicate beasts us writers – thin skinned to let the world in and not thick skinned enough to keep it out when insecurity strikes.

The 20% of writers who DONT send a script when you ask are probably smart enough to know you are unlikely to find the time to read it and don’t want to open the door to paranoia (as detailed above).

So next time maybe think twice about asking – or when you realise you haven’t read it send a message just to say “I’m busy but nag me” (only if you want to be nagged) or “don’t hold your breath”. Seriously its much nicer than leaving a poor writer spending their time fixating on you. There’s only so many times we can check our email in one day.

Or perhaps us writers (me) should resolve to become one of the 20% and not bother to send work just in case it never gets read…

Nah!

PS This is not a dig at any one – or a cry for help! Currently I am fairly sure I’m not waiting for anyone to read any of my work 🙂

How many hours of dead women do we watch on TV?

I was happily watching a TV show I like the other night.  It started: a woman – beaten… abused. Suddenly I wasn’t concentrating on the story, I was feeling uncomfortable, realising how often women on screen are beaten, abused or dead on a slab. It’s something my other half complains about often, but this was the first time it really hit me.

I don’t want to name names, because this isn’t about slagging off individual programmes, but it got to me. So I did something I try not to do, I ranted on Facebook. This is what I posted:

Another night another tv programme where a woman is abused – I’m getting tired of so many shows with women being killed or beaten or hurt I KNOW there are other interesting genre busting shows being pitched by writers everyday – it’s time for change!

Give women writers and directors the reins then that change will come!”

Very quickly the post got a lot of likes and comments. Most people seemed to feel the same. It made me wonder if programmes about the abuse of women and children are made because audiences want them or because commissioners THINK audiences want them.

And then I wondered, am I being hysterical? IS it REALLY that bad or is it in my head – do those programmes just stand out a bit more?

Other half and I chatted and he challenged me to do a test – see how many hours of telly in a week are devoted to programmes with a storyline in which a woman or child is abused or murdered.

Challenge accepted.

But when I started scouring the telly guide for next week I realised I’d have to put in some parameters – for example these kind of topics can’t be shown till after the watershed. And there are so many channels now and I do have a life… So I took a sample- one week,  the four main channels, between 9pm and midnight. Here’s what I found out:

  • In total across 28 hours of telly 8 of those featured these kind of stories
  • There was one hour every week night bar Friday and more than that at the weekend because of films.

That means 38% of telly in that slot features stories where women and kids are abused and/or killed. And to my mind that’s far too much. I’m not even including in my sample storylines in soaps or continuing dramas.

Imagine if we could get commissioners to commit to lowering that percentage significantly? Or just to take one of those hours and devote it to something different – something innovative, something where  woman walks around talking unscarred…

Might we be able to make a wider positive change in the way people think about women and children by commissioning uplifting, positive stories that explore what it is to be human and have relationships in new, unusual ways. And make new genres, or – hell – get rid of genres all together.

There are other kinds of dramas waiting to be born and plenty of female (and male) writers, directors and actresses ready to step up and make them given half a chance… So come on commissioners, what are you waiting for?

 

Highlights from February 2017

movie_poster_zootopia_866a1bf2
It was half term in Feb, so in honour of that, my choices this month are all kids movies.

Firstly Zootopia. I’m late to the party I think (hell it won an Oscar at the weekend), but Disney making a film that featured animated animals to explore the nature of prejudice is mind-bendingly cool. I loved it, mini-me who is 5 enjoyed it but I think the detailed plot was a bit tough for her in places. If you’ve a 7 or 8 year old in your life I bet they’d adore it.

mv5bmji4mzu5ntexnf5bml5banbnxkftztgwnzy1mtewmdi-_v1_uy1200_cr9006301200_al_Next up ANOTHER Disney – Moana. Some catchy tunes – outwardly, more obviously ‘Disney’ – one girl’s quest to save the world (rather than find a husband as Disneys of old worked) and a nice twist around the notion of the monster. It’s very watchable, though there’s a bit on a boat 3/4 of the way through that loses its way a bit. All in all a positive watch and safe bet for mini ones.

Finally Sing. You’ve probably seen the trailer – a theatre producing koala decides to run a talent contest… cue lots of amusing turns by animals singing well known songs. The Brit thug gorillas were my favourite, with a son who sung like Elton John and whose rendition of “I’m still standing” secured a big thumbs up from me. This was the one my daughter loved the most – the song vignettes, humour and different characters journeys really hooked her.

mv5bmtg0mja1ntm0m15bml5banbnxkftztgwnjyzotk0mdi-_v1_ux477_cr00477268_al_

Sing’s probably the only one of the three that doesn’t try to consciously cater for an adult audience too with tongue in cheek asides or anything like that – but I actually really liked it for that. And it did make me giggle a lot.

To be clear those aren’t the only kids movies I watched – in a rainy half term there were more but these were the ones I liked best. A warning about Lego Batman: we took mini me as it was a U and were shocked at how violent it was. It seems violence is ok to the people rating if it’s between Lego characters rather than humans. So be careful with that one.

March is more grown up: I’m most excited about the reopening of the Bush and the Black Lives Black Words event.

Highlights from January 2017

I start 2017 with a museum trip in my top 3 – I don’t think I’ve featured a museum in my blog up till now. So that’s a first. There’s also a play and a telly:

caravaggio-the-seven-acts-of-mercy-social-tmb-img-820
I made the very worthwhile trip to Stratford Upon Avon to see Anders Lustgarten’s Seven Acts of Mercy.

The play is set in two times, 1606 with Caravaggio hiding out in Naples and painting the eponymous canvas, and in modern day Bootle where an old man holds out in his rented home against the tides of commercial development trying to eject him.

It’s a beautifully crafted, state of the nation play, but what Anders has that so many other writers who attack big national topics don’t is huge heart. This isn’t a cold, academic autopsy but an impassioned cry for change, for justice. Erica Whyman’s production moves effortlessly between times and there are some stunning performances, my favourites from Tom Georgeson and Alison McKenzie. The play’s now closed but I really hope it gets a national tour.

rmg20general20enquiry

My museum visit was to the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich – not the sort of place I’d normally be chomping at the bit to get to. Why then? No I’m not writing a play about Napoleon, instead I went along on my daughter’s school trip and was delighted with the place and how much the kids got out of it. There are all the usual galleries with naval paraphernalia, but there are other interesting spaces too including Ahoy! which is a nice sized play area with a special section for babies and toddlers. Recommended.

apple-tree-yard
I feel a bit of a cheat with my final choice – BBC One’s Apple Tree Yard – as it’s only two episodes in (of four) but it’s already a favourite. This telly adaptation of Louise Doughty’s novel is  tense, sexy, nail-biting and totally engrossing. I won’t risk any spoliers but already in just two episodes it’s genre-busted all my expectations. And with the brilliant Emily Watson, Ben Chaplin and Mark Bonnar there’s a feast of acting talent to savour too. I’ll be sad when it’s over.

Feb brings Bubbly Black Girl at Stratford East and Feb 2018 brings Hamilton ! I managed to get tickets – ok it’s a year away but I’m believing the hype!

 

The session I SHOULD have called at Devoted & Disgruntled or Why fringe theatre is only for trustofarians

img_0818

Last Saturday I went to Devoted and Disgruntled 12: What shall we do about Theatre and the Performing Arts Now in Bristol, hosted by Improbable. For the uninitiated it is an open space event – a sort of free for all conference, where attendees make up the seminar agenda when they arrive.

I’d never been to one before and it was an engaging experience to say the least. I didn’t call a session (though now I realise I should have hence the blog), but went to a broad range from ‘(How) can we teach playwrighting‘ (I had stuff to say about that); ‘Mothers who make’; ‘Can you be an artist in the evenings and weekends’; and the one that inspired this blog: ‘Come and rant at two White Male Artistic Directors’. That last one got me curious for sure.

I bumbled bee-d into it for the last 15 mins as I’d got caught up in another conversation and in fact (disappointingly) no one was ranting at these two Artistic Directors at all. This was because they were talking about things they were doing right – and differently – to most other small theatres to try an enable new theatre makers to get their work going, and their methodology was refreshing to say the least.

Although no one was ranting when I arrived at the session, I have to admit I did rant a bit.

You see, hearing about these seemingly great models of getting work on got me thinking about the way most theatres (on the London fringe at any rate) do things: in a way that is almost impossible for anyone who doesn’t have MONEY.

Let me explain: normally if you want to get your play on it’s a case of an approach to that theatre and then IF they like you and your work and want it in their building they invite you to be part of the programme.

That invitation however does not come with any funding attached. Au contraire, in order to have your work on in said theatre you need to be about to raise the cash (normally in the vicinity of £1.5/£2k per week for the theatre hire alone) to put it on there. The theatre may well help in kind, with marketing or rehearsal space if you are lucky but the onus is on you, the producer or creator,  to find at least several grand up front to secure the venue.

Then you’ve got to pay the actors, and the director, designer, stage manager, get insurance, and there’s set, props costumes and a million other things besides.

In most cases where this model exists you DO get 100% of your box office. But I’d argue this is NOT a good thing, here’s why:

1. You don’t get it until the show has closed so you have to defer paying for things, and most things you can’t defer payment for and

2. It means that the theatre doesn’t have anything at RISK by having your show on there. If there was a box office spilt (where some of the box office goes to the theatre and some to the producers instead of a hire charge) there would be more onus on the theatre to sell tickets, get bums on seats. At the moment all the risk is with the producers, so if the show is a failure the theatre can pretend it was just a hire, but if it’s a hit it’s the theatre who gets all the credit.

This is a broken system. It makes theatre exclusive – if you’re not a trustofarian how on earth can you get work on? Of course there are charities and funds and the arts council but everything is getting more and more squeezed – when I first put on a play back in the mid 2000s there were charities that could fund emerging artists – now those same charities are giving to the huge established organisations so what hope do newbies have?

What’s more the people at the top of the industry seem to be blind about this problem. Anecdotally several directors I know have been told by people who run buildings to ‘keep putting on plays and we will come and see something’. In one case the emerging director had to explain the current model to the established director who presumed box office splits were still the way things worked as they did ‘in his day’.

During my D&D rant I asked the two Artistic Directors with innovative models to go and evangelise about them to the people at the top. Because without another way forward fringe theatre – the space that is meant to be a training ground for emerging artists – will continue to get whiter and more privileged and frankly more boring and dead.

I hope they will spread the word and the people who count listen – then there might be a chance for change.

Rant over.

My best of 2016

Yes it was a shit year in so many ways – but I’ve picked – not my top 3 (too hard) but top 5 cultural things: a play, two tellys, a radio drama and a concert.

In order of when they happened:

Scenes from 68* Years at the Arcola in April

cache_3028484

Well you didn’t think I was going to miss out my own play did you? I’m not being big headed I promise, I know the reason the production was brilliant (if you think it was and I do) was because of the amazing cast, director and crew who made my writing look 100 times better than it is. I feel so lucky to have had the perfect alchemy of that team working on it. So massive thanks to them all. And if you missed it and happen to be in Chicago in February you could go and see a reading of it there then…

Mum on BBC Two in May

mum

This comedy was one of the best things on telly in 2016. Lesley Manville was hilarious and touching as the eponymous Mum. Go and buy it on BBC Store if you missed it and watch it all… I am going to do that just so I can see it again. And the best news ever is that it has been recommissioned for a new series.

The CBeebies Prom in August

p046cy6k

What to say about this one, I took mini me and blubbed my way through it – then wrote about why I cried more than my daughter.

Tracks on Radio 4 in September

p043cp7b

I love my radio drama. As my world is so busy and fragmented with writing and mumming and other work, being able to download and listen to dramas while I’m on the move is a life saver. Tracks was an epic nine-part twist and turn conspiracy thriller. It had epic ambition and managed to pull off televisual style car chases and the like that you don’t expect to hear on the radio. Kept me listening for nearly 7 hours. Brilliant. And it’s still downloadable if you fancy a try.

Witness for the Prosecution on BBC One in December

p04l6xpm

We all love a Christie for Christmas don’t we? But I sort of expect them to be old-fashioned fusty affairs – in this case I couldn’t have been more wrong. Sarah Phelps’ adaptation was immediately engrossing – Christie and Phelps make a great team, what’s more the performances were excellent especially from Andrea Riseborough (pictured) who absolutely transforms in every role she plays (last seen in Channel 4’s National Treasure though I almost didn’t recognise her). Add to this some beautiful camera work and you have an absolute Christmas treat. I know the beeb has plans for 7 more Christie adaptations for future Christmases I really hope they can recreate the magic conjured here again and again.

December 2016

Despite a month beset with hideous illness in my household I did manage to find some cultural healing.

First I experienced the joy of my daughter’s first Christmas show: she was a beautiful sheep and remembered her line (it was more substantial than baaaaa) . I cried throughout which you won’t be surprised about if you read about it my experience at the CBeebies Prom. And then there was the brilliant Professor Dill’s Punch and Judy (pictured) for mini-me’s birthday which delighted kids old and young and made me cry with laughter – highly recommended. 

Then another Christmassy show – and a theatre institution: I took ma to Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap for her birthday. I thought it might be a bit worse for wear being as aged as it is (we saw the 26,718th performance) and the worlds longest running play, but actually I was really surprised. Some great performances and that Christie woman can weave a great yarn … she kept me guessing who dunnit right till the end. 

And finally more Christie on BBC One a breathtakingly brilliant adaptation of Witness for the Prosecution. It was dark and sultry in Sarah Phelps’ screenplay with superb performances. I loved it – a proper Christmas gift – catch it on iPlayer while you still can. 

Right now I’m off to look through my blog for 2016 and pick my 3 highlights from across the year which won’t be easy! 

November 2016

A busy month. Again. So busy I’m now under house arrest but that’s another story…

Three easy highlights – though one is a bit of a cheat – you’ll see why:

Firstly The Royale at the Bush. I’m currently writer on attachment at the Bush as part of Project 2036, so this may seem like sycophancy but it is absolutely not. I was worried I might not like it – I do not share my Mum and brother’s love of boxing. But Marco Ramirez’s historical drama set in 1905 about black boxer Jay ‘The Sport’ Jackson who dreams of being the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world feels incredibly relevant. The production is beautifully realised at the Tabernacle – a venue I’d never been to before that could have been made for this very play. Add excellent performances into the mix and you have all the makings of a memorable night of theatre.
awanMy second choice is my cheat: #AWAN in Belgium (because it’s technically two highlights in one). I was invited to speak in Ghent as part of Arts Canteen’s Arab Woman Artists Now and while there I met two other women who inspired me hugely: performance artist Maiada Aboud and singer Juliana Yazbeck. The photos we saw and concepts around Maida’s work are incredibly affecting, provocative and courageous. I’ll look forward to seeing her art in person in future. And Juliana’s music blew me away – a heady fusion of her Lebanese and American heritage I wanted her to sing all night.

With my final choice I surprise myself – The Crown on Netflix. I wasn’t going to bother as I’m not really into the Royals. But I knew Ma would be up for it so we started last week. The writing (by Peter Morgan) is excellent, production values high (they should be I’m sure they threw millions at it) and the performances above all excellent. Claire Foy particularly gives a very mature performance. Very different from other roles I’ve seen her play. Clearly with all the problems in the world I should be watching a documentary about how to save the planet and not something that puts a rose tint on a dubious out-dated tradition. But when I put all that aside I thought it was jolly good telly.

December brings my daughter’s first Christmas show at school I do hope that makes the cut for my blog. Enjoy the festivities.

October 2016

p04dgm74

What a strange month. So very busy but when I look back over the diary I realise it’s been all work, work, work and no play. Not a theatre trip all month 😦 and I tried and failed to get to I, Daniel Blake several times but fortune was against me. Hope to see it in November.

So my cultural highlights are a bit different – a festival and two tellys…

First up a festival in Lichfield Holding Palestine in the Light. Full transparency here – I went along because I was giving a little talk. But it was absolutely lovely to meet all the people there (a few even bought my play!) and to hear fellow playwright Hassan Abdulrazzak talk about his work and his recent trip to the International Theatre Festival in Cairo. A fascinating time.

My first telly is Grey’s Anatomy. Yes I know I’m about 15 years behind the times, but what started out as “watching an episode or two for research” has turned into an absolute obsession. True the Ali Macbeal style voice over that bookends proceedings feels very dated and 1990s, but the stories themselves are so engaging, we care massively about the characters and become totally wrapped up in the regular and guest stories. I’m hooked.

Finally on the last day of the month I watched The Moonstone (pictured at the top), a new BBC One adaptation of Wilkie Collins’ novel. It is programmed in a daytime slot – unusual for a period piece – so I wondered if that would reflect in the quality of the work. Not a bit of it. Absolutely sumptuously shot, some very lovely understated performances and thoroughly engaging so far. I really like the way it has been adapted too – John Yorke the Exec producer wrote a blog about the adaptation and there’s an interview with writers Sasha Hails and Rachel Flowerday on BBC Writersroom in case you are interested. I’ll certainly be watching all of this one.

November brings Hotel Cerise at Theatre Royal Stratford East, plus the Bush’s The Royale and a trip to Ghent to talk at AWAN (Arab Women Artists Now) event.

 

 

September 2016

How is it October already? That means two months ’til, but enough of that: instead my September highlights, which include a radio, a telly and an event.

p043cp7b

First Tracks – a nine-part radio drama that finished this week. Written by Matthew Broughton and directed by James Robinson the series lived up to its billing as “a major conspiracy thriller”. It had more twists and turns than your cerebrum (that’s me trying to make a clever reference for those in the know who have also listened) and some fantastic performances especially Romola Garai’s Helen. We are also treated to cameos from the brilliant Nabil Elouhabi as a drunk doctor and the wonderful Kenneth Cranham pops up in the last episode too.

I absolutely loved the visual quality of the production despite it being a radio play – there was no shying away from big, exciting moments – car chases – stuff like that. Exhilarating, ambitious, must-listen stuff, so – you know – listen it on iPlayer.

p039ph43Next Doctor Who – well #WritingDoctorWho a brilliant event I was lucky enough to get to at the BBC Radio Theatre where lead writer and exec Steven Moffat talked about writing for the programme and in general. I wrote a detailed blog about the #WritingDoctorWho event for About the BBC so I won’t cover the same ground, but there was one general comment Moffat made about giving script notes that is very simple, but is joyous and made me think about script editing in a whole new (positive) way. He said:

“You will make more improvements by praising the good than by criticising the bad. Praise is not sugaring the pill. It is more important to grow the good than shrink the bad. There are many ways to miss a target – but only one way to hit it. Find the great about a script and get more of that.”

3000

Finally I’m really enjoying Damned a new Channel 4 comedy set in a social workers office written by and starring Jo Brand and Morwenna Banks, that also has Alan Davies in it. Only two eps in there’s already been the topics of parents with learning difficulties; a granny looking after the kids because Mum is addicted to heroin and a suspected pupil teacher relationship and yes you did read right – it is a comedy. All this is handled really smartly and the writing constantly undermines your expectations. It’s very ,very good, check it out.

October brings… an event in Lichfield that I’m speaking at with Hassan Abdulrazzak and films in the London Film Festival.